Nobody was sure what “It” was, but families nationwide revised their wills to make sure they left It to Beaver. Cash, cars, mansions, speedboats–It all got left to Beaver.
Oh, at first it was fun for Beaver. He was only six years old, so he couldn’t drive all the Rolls Royces and Mercedes being left for him. But he would play for hours in a ball room filled with solid-gold Rolexes instead of balls. And he would play Army Men with marble statues from the Renaissance.
Eventually, people resented Beaver for all his It. He had to go into hiding, and changed his nickname to Mitt.
And that’s everything you need to know about Dwight Eisenhower.