Fluorine: Element #9, #9, #9…

Fluorine is a common element found pretty much everywhere, but the highest concentration of fluorine can be found under your bed, at night, when you’re trying to go to sleep.

You know it’s down there. You can hear it breathing, and once in a while, it growls menacingly. Once, as you were drifting off to sleep, you thought you heard fluorine say, “I’m going to EAT YOU,” and you ran screaming to your mom’s room, who was kinda pissed you woke her up because she has to work tomorrow and she made you go back to your room and sleep. But of course, you couldn’t sleep–not when the horrible fluorine monster under your bed may eat you at any moment!

So, you slathered peanut butter all around your bed, because you’d heard fluorine monsters can’t touch peanut butter or they’ll melt. Only then could you get some fitful sleep, until your mom woke you up in the morning, yelling about all the peanut butter on the floor. You tried to explain, but oh man, were you ever in trouble!


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