John F. Kennedy: Another Damn President Guy

There are several unlikely coincidences that link John F. Kennedy, our 35th president, to Abraham Lincoln, our 16th president. For example, Lincoln was elected president in 1860, while Kennedy was elected president in 1960.

But it gets stranger! We all know that Kennedy proposed that America go to the Moon by the end of the 1960s, but did you know that Lincoln proposed that America go to the Moon by the end of the 1860s? It’s true–he called on Congress to fund his “Giant Rubber Band” idea, but the costs of the Civil War made this idea too expensive for the time.

Also, we’ve all heard the rumors that John F. Kennedy and Marilyn Monroe, you know, did it and stuff. But did you know that Abraham Lincoln did it with Marilyn Monroe, also? In a last-ditch effort to defeat the North, the Confederacy built a rudimentary time machine (ironically, using the very Giant Rubber Band technology Lincoln had wanted to use for his Moon trip!). The South sent Stonewall Jackson to 1953 Hollywood and brought Marilyn Monroe back to the White House in 1864. How this was supposed to help the Confederacy is unclear, but Lincoln had a good time, as did Marilyn Monroe. Plus, the Union won anyway. Score!

There are many, many more eerie similarities between John F. Kennedy and Abraham Lincoln, which we’ll write about in the future, unless a time-travelling Stonewall Jackson distracts us with Marilyn Monroe. Then all bets are off.

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