Copenhagen: Some City Somewhere

Copenhagen is not just the name of a chewing tobacco. It’s the name of the largest city in Denmark. And everywhere you turn, somebody’s spitting a huge loogee of chaw at your feet. It is SO disgusting.

Everyone in Copenhagen chews Copenhagen: men. Women. Children. Grandmothers. Dogs. Even fish in the harbor are constantly hocking up chew. That’s why it’s called the Black Sea, Slappy. Again: it is SO disgusting.

If you can avoid stepping in puddles of brackish, lumpy saliva or getting spit upon by toothless grannies, there’s much for a tourist to do. Like: chewing tobacco. And: feeding pigeons in the town square. Most of them have lip cancer from chewing so much damn tobacco. And pigeons don’t even have lips, the poor things.

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