Portland, OR: City-y

Being a slacker is big business in Portland. The Sitting In A Coffee Shop And Writing Poetry In Your Moleskine industry brings in over $4 billion annually to the region’s economy. Other major industries in Portland include Drinking PBR In A Dive Bar Waiting For Your Boyfriend’s Band To Play, Getting Stoned And Playing Portal 2 Or Some Shit, and Getting A Tattoo Of Some Random-Ass Anime Character Or Something.

Portland is very serious about slacking. Most slackers wear the finest Brooks Brothers 3-piece suits while they ride their unicycles and juggle at the same time. Many drive the latest Jaguar convertibles and Mercedes SUVs to their hackey-sack matches.

And what’s in those hackey-sacks? Krugerands and jewels, my friend. Krugerands and jewels.


One comment

  1. Dustin DuBois (@DustinDZigns)

    Love this one =D. Portland is a fun place. Getting sloshed off of 22oz beers that we paid $9/ea for, riding ice-blocks down the big grassy hill by the Washington Park Zoo, getting back in our Priusi to go sing karaoke in a chinese restaurant dive bar before rounding off the night with a hike in $683 of ”outdoor” ”gear” from REI. If only it didn’t rain for 16 months out of the year. I hear Summer is gonna be almost 3 weeks this year!

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