In a word: suckytown, Jack. We haven’t heard “Yakety Sax,” not even once. It’s England’s national anthem, for crying out loud.
Also: Nobody has volunteered to battle the Black Knight. The dude is just a bleeding torso, and no one will fight him to cross the bridge into the Olympic Village. It’s sad.
And we have to admit we were disappointed that the Opening Ceremony did not include a six-hour salute to “Are You Being Served,” the great ’70s Britcom. It deserves the respect of the entire world; you can’t just sweep “Are You Being Served” under the rug, you know.
Finally, we have noticed that there are some events, called “equestrian” events, where the athletes are blatantly cheating by riding horses. Sure you can run through the meadow real fast and jump over giant logs if you’re on a freaking HORSE. This is totally unfair to the the athletes who play by the rules, and compete in these so-called “equestrian” events without horses, as God intended.
So: get it together London. It’s not too late. Maybe at the closing ceremonies you can have that big musical salute to Margo from “Good Neighbours.”