Austria: Another Damn Nation

Let’s be honest: Austria is Germany’s South. In Austria, rednecks in lederhosen shoot guns, make one hell of a strudel, and marry their cousins. Austria’s most popular rock band is Lynnhärdt Skynnhärdt. Austrians show up at NÄSCAR races in huge numbers, drinking beer and hoping a flaming Türvenschleibenschriebenhöller flies into the crowd.

Austrians believe that a woman can shut that whole Hürvendürvenschmürven down in case of a “legitimate Rüpfenglassenschpingenfrüse.” We didn’t say they were smart. They also don’t believe in Evolution, which means they don’t believe that Pfepfenpfergerkügles descended from a common Zielsbahnbüberscmitten.

But the food in Austria, Germany’s South, is delicious. For breakfast, try some cheesy Grävenschmurvenglockenfliepper, or some yummy biscuits and Vürckenstrüchengebliebendörfenschleibenschlaffen.

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