Crickets: Nature’s Crickets

Crickets are an insect best known for their chirping. But what does this chirping mean?

There are four cricket songs, all used in different situations. They have one chirping song that attracts females and repels males (Adele’s “Someone Like You”), while the courting song is used to quietly attract a nearby female (Marvin Gaye’s “Let’s Get It On”).

Third, crickets have an aggressive song that repels nearby males (Motorhead’s “Ace of Spades,” which fucking ROCKS, Slappy). Finally, crickets have a post-mating song (“Mr. Roboto” by Styx, which is what all species of animals sing after Doing it).

Some kinds of crickets have other songs–the Pennsylvania forest cricket chirps nothing but Barry Manilow songs; luckily, they are almost extinct. Let’s stamp these annoying, Barry Manilow-chirping bugs out once and for all, don’t we?

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