Apollo 15: More Space Crap

As we all know, the lunar module for the Apollo 11 mission was the Eagle. This is fitting: for the first manned landing on the moon, you want to name your vehicle after a magnificent, brave bird that symbolizes the American can-do spirit.

But by the time Apollo 15 came around, moon landings were old hat, practically passé, so its lunar module was merely called Falcon. And while still a fierce bird, a falcon is no eagle.

One wonders what birds they would have named lunar modules after had Apollo missions had gone on indefinitely. Apollo 57’s lunar module could have been That Upsetting Pigeon With Like Half A Beak And Only One Foot. The lunar module for Apollo 83 might be named That Goddamn Seagull That Just Pooped On Our Head. And the current Apollo mission might have a lunar module named Annoying Parrot That Only Mimics Car Alarms And The Synth Riff From “Gangnam Style.”

Thank goodness we stopped going to the moon.


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