North Dakota: Good Lord, Another State?

When you think about North Dakota, what comes to mind? It’s a trick question–nobody has ever thought about North Dakota.

How is this even possible? It’s a question that has stumped all the great philosophers. The Ancient Greeks believed one could never think about North Dakota: one would get halfway to thinking about North Dakota, then halfway again, and again, but never actually reach the finish line of thinking about North Dakota.

John Locke believed the brain was a tabula rasa, a blank slate one could never write “North Dakota” on. Meanwhile, Descartes believed, “I think, therefore I am. I think about North Dakota, therefore I am not.”

Kierkegaard theorized that to even think about North Dakota was to experience “existential despair.” And it was Nietzsche who put forth the idea of “will to power”–that we will ourselves to never think about North Dakota.

Of course, it could be that nobody ever thinks about North Dakota because it is phenomenonally, unbelievably dull. We may never know the true reason.


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