Silicon: Another Damn Element

Silicon is the 14th element on the periodic table. It is commonly used in breast implants, because natural breasts are just like silicon: a rock-hard mineral often used to make cement and concrete.

It’s true–a healthy, natural breast has the same consistency as a sidewalk. If your breasts are soft, bouncy, and/or luscious, that is unnatural. Go see a breast-hardening doctor or a bricklayer to harden those things up now, Slappy.

Silicon is also used to make computer chips, because computer chips are designed to work like breasts. When you want to input information in your computer, you need to stimulate the breasts/computer chips first. Or at least use some lube.

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