The Disalmanacarian was only seven years old when North and South Dakota separated. We didn’t understand it–didn’t they still love each other? Sometimes, they explained, two US states have to be apart for awhile.
We stayed with North Dakota at home during the week, and got to see South Dakota at its new place every weekend. It was a small, cramped apartment. The place was a mess. Dirty dishes were everywhere. We usually just ended up watching TV the whole time.
Then one weekend, we went to South Dakota’s place and there was another state there. This is Idaho, he said. She’s going to be your new mommy! We ran crying from the room and wanted to go back home.
Of course, now that the Disalmanacarian is older, we understand, and we’re very close to both Dakotas, Idaho, and Manitoba, who North Dakota is now very happy with. But it was rough to process all this stuff as a small child. Luckily, years of Adlerian therapy and loads of Prozac (not to mention six months in a Skinner Box) have helped, and we hope by telling our story we can help those who survived the breakup of the Carolinas and Virginia and West Virginia. You’ll get through this! We promise.