Sacramento: A City, Kind Of

Sacramento was founded during the great Gold Rush of 1849, and today, 86% of the population is made up of grizzled old prospectors and their mules (which are also grizzled and old). Even as we speak, most of the city’s residents are sitting around a campfire, waiting for Ol’ Cookie to serve up a batch of beans and sourdough.

As the capital of California, Sacramento had to put up with Arnold Schwarzenegger living there while he was governor. Governor Schwarzenegger constantly walked into the state legislature, announced that he would be back, and then had his entire motorcade drive through the front window. It got old after like, the 200th time, and all that glass was coming right out of the state budget he had sworn to cut. Also: having sex with anything that moved, including Ol’ Cookie. Poor Ol’ Cookie.

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