Apollo 17: A Space Thing Deal

Apollo 17 was the sixth and final moon landing mission, and man, they trashed the place. They threw empty Coors Lite cans everywhere. They drove the lunar rover into a crater and wrecked it. NASA threw a wet spacesuit contest. There were bras and panties and boxer shorts strewn everywhere. The astronauts peed on and then TP-ed the giant black monolith, which is probably why the aliens haven’t been in touch with us again. Bet they wish they’d never shown that caveman how to use a femur to crack open another caveman’s skull now.

Anyway, we didn’t end up getting our damage deposit back from the moon, so that sucked. We really should have gotten that $450 back, since we didn’t do any structural damage, right? Well, except that now the moon wobbles when it rotates, and it’s going to need a new dishwasher after Gene Cernan put all those moon rocks in it and turned it on. Good one, Gene.

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