Socrates: A History Dude

The ancient Greek philosopher Socrates is known for the Socratic Method, which consists of three steps:

1. Come on, feel the noise.

2. Girls, rock your boys.

3. We’ll get wild, wild, wild.

This is the very foundation on which all of Western philosophy is built. These tenets led to the ideas of Locke (“Bang your head, metal health will drive you mad”), Kant (“Take me down to Paradise City, where the grass is green and the girls are pretty”) and Descartes (“I rock, therefore I rock”).

Of course, 19th century philosophers began to move away from the Socratic Method. It was Friedrich Nietzsche who came up with the central precepts of existentialism:

1. Do a little dance.

2. Make a little love.

3. Get down tonight.

The dancefloor-friendly ideas of existentialism were and remain completely antithetical to the Socratic Method of rocking out with your cocking out. And let’s not even mention today’s confusing dubstep philosophers. These kids today!

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