Rome: A Damn City, OK?

Ancient Rome was known for its magnificent Coliseum, and its even more magnificent vomitoriums. After a particularly large meal of olives and the meat of lions who lost in the Coliseum, the elites of Ancient Rome would go to the vomitorium to purge in comfort and luxury. The porcelain gods really were gods: The Emperor got to vomit into Jupiter himself.

Today’s Rome is still known for its Coliseum, though it is now in ruins. Likewise, Rome’s vomitoriums remain active, but are also on the skids. Any damn American tourist can now pony up two bucks and vomit all he wants into Jupiter, Juno, Mars, or any of the other Roman gods. It’s sad and disgusting that these once-great deities, who received the vomit of Emperors, now have to receive a half-digested thing of McNuggets from some American high school exchange student who then posts the photo on Instagram with the caption, “Totally ralphed into Thor, dudez!!!11!!”

It’s unseemly. But that’s Rome.


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