Bill Clinton was apparently the first president to ever sport a penis, because it’s all anyone talked about for like, two goddamn years. Seriously, all we heard for months and months was, “Penis penis penis, blow job, penis penis stained dress blow job.” Good lord, America, grow the fuck up.
You know, we all could have put that time to much better use, solving hunger or homelessness or inventing jetpacks and flying cars or preventing the Global Warming that’s now giving New York City a fucking hurricane every six weeks, but no, everyone had to argue about blow jobs and what the meaning of “is” was. Jesus fucking christ, people. WE CAN’T GET THAT TIME BACK.
And we REALLY wanted a goddamn flying car, too. Fuck.