Lymph Nodes: A Yucky Body Thing

By getting these green and orange tattoos, you can turn your body into a fun board game for the entire family!Your lymph nodes are located in your neck. And in your arms. And in your legs. You even have lymph nodes in your thorax, and doctors don’t even know what the heck a thorax is.

In other, you have lymph nodes all over the place inside your damn body. And they’re disgusting.

Why are lymph nodes so disgusting? They lymph the crap out of your nodes. What is lymph? What’s a node? Again, doctors have no idea, but we do know that lymphing a node is dirty and yucky and should be illegal. And yet–your nodes are being lymphed, even as we speak!

What can we do to stop the grotesque menace of node lymphing? First: have all of your lymph nodes removed. If a doctor won’t do it (and who can blame them? The American Medical Association describes lymph nodes as “all bluchy and stuff”), just use an ice cream scoop and start digging away at your neck. And arms. And legs. And, if you can figure out what the hell it is and where it is on or in your body, your disgusting thorax. Then, write your Members of Congress and US Senators–demand that they pass strong legislation banning the horrible, profoundly yeeeeesh-y practice of node lymphing today.


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